so, this time of year i am always more and more excited as it gets closer to christmas.  but not this year.  i don't know why.  i think i might be depressed.  it's not fair, you know?  this is my time of year, for crying out loud!  what really sucks is that i don't know why i feel this way.  i think i could handle it better if i had something to blame it on.  i mean, i've got ideas, but all that tells me is there are several things that could be wrong with my life... or other peoples' lives for that matter.  what makes me feel worse is that i've really got everything i need right now.  i have a place to live, a good paying job (although i hate being a cubical monkey), a family that loves me, great friends, and good health.  why, why, why?  that's all i've got; questions.  yeah, there's things i want that i don't have in my life, but is wanting something really a valid reason to be down around christmas time?  i mean, i don't have to go back to work until monday, so i should be happy about having a four day weekend, but all i can think is how there's nothing good about life right now!  don't take that the wrong way.  i'm not suicidal or anything.  it's not that kind of depression; i just feel empty.  and before anyone says that maybe i should pray about it, i've been going round and round with God on this one for months!  all i can get from Him is that i need to hang in there and that maybe i need to give more of myself.  and now i feel like a selfish crybaby because i can think of at least two other people right now that actually have something to feel depressed about, so that's just great.  seriously, i can't wrap my mind around this, so if anyone has any suggestions on how to get out of this, i'm all ears.  i just want to be happy and i'm tired of acting like i'm ok around everyone.  this sucks...

attention anyone who believes in the power of prayer.  there's a couple in my family that is having problems in their marriage.  i've already talked to some of you about it, but it just seems to be getting worse.  currently, the situation is that she has almost entirely moved out and won't really tell him why.  there is so much sadness and confusion.  please, please keep these two in your prayers.  no one knows what to expect right now.  even a month ago, everything seemed normal and now she's gone.  i'm praying that this will not result in divorce, but i'm not sure if there's any way to repair the damage that's been done by the lack of communication.  to be honest, i'm scared and it's really affecting my daily life as well.  so i beg you, please keep my family, especially these two, in your prayers.  hopefully, God will soften her heart enough that she will be willing to talk to him and he will realize what caused this whole mess.  on the bright side, if they can survive this, maybe this experience will strengthen their marriage.  but it's killing us all right now...